E-mail: angelchildr@freaky.nu
Rating: pg-13
Summary: The Fall, the reasons, the lovers.
Series: Today's Angels
Distribution: http://penned-insanity.freaky.nu/ (My site) or ask.
Author's Note: Ever wonder what the real reason for the fall of the angels was and what the results of it were?

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(the lightbringer)

It's been a long, long time since I've actually had to do anything. That whole damnation thing? Yeah, the human race has got that pretty much covered on their own.

She calls me "Fallen," like it's my name. She has ever since the day I lost her. Though when she says it, I can still see my true name in her eyes.

Who am I? What am I? Who do you want me to be? I can pull your greatest fantasies out of your mind and use them to twist you up so much that you lose track of who you even are.

We went through dark times after the fall, and I don't mean that in any sort of ironic way. There was no one to believe in us, and we starved in the void. But when God created man and woman, we knew we were saved, so to speak. Sometimes I wonder if that was on purpose.

Yes, that was me in that tree. I curled myself around that limb and waited for one of them to pass by. I almost couldn't believe how easy it was. And suddenly we weren't starving any more.

Heaven. It's hard to explain in any sort of way that you'd understand it. It's a place, it's a feeling, it's an idea, it's all of those, none of those. The easiest thing is to just say that I'll never be able to explain it to you. Not in any way you'd understand.

***

(The herald)

They always say the messenger was male. Well men would think that, wouldn't they? The truth is, I'm neither. None of us are. But if you had to label me, as humans often need to, I'd be closer to female than anything. After all, only an idiot would send a man to tell a scared young thing (who's never even gotten close enough to a man to know what his hands might feel like on her skin) that she's pregnant. And you'll never hear me say that God's an idiot.

***

(The herald)

I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but when His attention started to wander and He started planning His new project, we were like the abandoned children he created us as. And like children, we tried all we could to get His attention back. When that didn't work, we turned to each other.

Children explore, children question, and children grow. Until they aren't children any more. I can't imagine He didn't know what was happening, but as He immersed Himself more into the new project, we immersed ourselves more into each other.

We'd thought there was nothing greater than being in His presence, and perhaps there isn't, but when that was denied us, we found that being in each other made His absence easier to bear. And for a while, we were happy again.

I can still remember that beginning time. The hesitancy, the unknown. We were virgins in the truest sense of the word. You'd never know it from the way we are today, but both Lucifer and I were scared then. Not just of what He would do when He found out, but also scared of each other. Of this new thing we were creating.

Not that we were the only ones. But we were the first. And we were His most-loved. Which made His anger all the greater when He finally found out.

The story is that pride is what caused Him to send Lucifer falling. There are stories of a great war. The truth is much simpler. It was love. Ours, and that of all the other angels that had turned to each other for comfort and consolation. The "sides" were not sides at all, only the division of each pair.

***

(the lightbringer)

They say I was the one leading the "army." I was just cursed with being one of His favorites. I was also the one who asked why what we were doing was so wrong.

He never answered me, not directly. He went into my mind and grabbed every moment I'd spent with Gabriel, loving her and her loving me in return. The memories were clear and powerful and came at me all at once. Then, silence. Broken by His whisper into my mind:

"If you want love so much, Lightbringer, so be it. From this moment on, all of you will need it to exist. You'll need someone to believe in you and cherish you. But you won't have each other. And you won't have Me."

And then I was falling. I was consumed by the fear that I would never stop. Some might say I never have. All that cut through that constant sensation of falling was pain and the nauseating smell of burning flesh. Even a heavenly being can't fall so far so fast without some damage.

Wings, hair, even my skin was scorched from the fall. Eventually my skin healed, but He had marked me in other ways. My hair never returned to its original silver color, and my wings still hold their damage.

Even then, I was luckier than most. Some of my fellow fallen were so badly damaged that they were unrecognizable as what they'd once been. They slunk into our new darkness, even their very essences damaged. The first of the demons I was to rule over in the coming times.

***

(The herald)

I imagine that right after The Fall, both groups went through much the same thing. We didn't sustain the damage that our fallen ones had, but what He'd told Lucifer applied to all of us now, and we were as out of His favor as they were. He went back to His project, and we didn't see Him for what seemed like an eternity. When He finished with the pair, He finally returned to us. We were weak and begged for his love. We soaked ourselves in His presence, grateful for any second of His attention.

And then He put us to work.



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